Preparation part 2

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Leah Mae and Leah Renae Sommer

The Leah Sommer Doppelganger chapter is coming to a close. I, Leah Renae, have decided to take the plunge and change my last name when I marry my favorite person in the world later this year. 

The future Hudsons

 This last year has been incredible for me. With 2013 ending, 2014 promised exciting new beginnings, new memories and I did what came naturally to someone who struggles with weight and started eating whatever I wanted.  Unfortunately, I had somehow forgotten how hard I had worked to make the progress I had made in the prior years. I was now eating poorly, excersizing sporadically and in the end I gained back most of the weight I had lost over the past few years. 

But I'm not defeated. That's life. Time to move forward.

Weight management will be a life long process for me. I will have lows and highs. I know that this may not be the last time that I gain weight and lose the battle against the bulge, but I refuse to lose the war!

For the past few months I have been getting "serious" with my weight loss trying to go back to my size 4 by doing any number of new and improved diets and excersize routines. I started by cutting portions, then I cut bread, then I switched everything over to Carb Cycling and tracking every ounce of food that went in my mouth. All worked.... Sort of. After 2 months of my "new diet" I had only lost about 5 lbs. I was getting very frustrated. I had forgotten how hard it is to get the weight off and how easy it is to gain it back. 

Then I got engaged! What an amazing night. What an amazing man. We share so many similar interests. He might be the funniest person I know and he loves the Lord! My Mr. Right.  So when he popped the question one beautiful night while fireworks lit up the sky just enough to see him on bended knee, my first thought was YES, YES, HECK YES! but the next day the goal of getting back to my "best me" began to nag at my mind more than ever. I want to feel beautiful, not only for my wedding day, but I want to feel good about myself starting out my marriage. I want to start this new adventure on the right foot.  It's funny how when push comes to shove you know exactly what to do. It was time to Prepare!

• I immediately started cooking huge amounts of chicken on Sundays so I wouldn't have to think about lunches through the week. 
• I bought sliced turkey breast... and LOTS of it.
• I boiled a dozen eggs to eat as snacks
• I raided my parents garden and filled my refrigerator with peppers, kale, onions, cucumbers and snap peas.
• I found a protein powder that didn't make me gag and purchased enough to get me through for a month.
• I began following Doug Chapman's blog Hyperfit.com work outs and it kicks my butt.  
• I've said no to cakes and cookies and my biggest weakness BURGERS!
• I've started running most days. If you know me even a little bit you know that running is on my "fun list" right under sitting in a traffic jam. 

Now that I've been back to my old healthy habits for a few weeks it's even easier to stay on track. It's been 3 weeks since I've cracked down, and gone back to basics and yesterday I was down a full 10 lbs.
It's not always easy losing weight, but it IS simple. I was over thinking and worrying too much about the details and the long term plan when I should have only been focusing on my next meal and my next exercise. 
My goal is another 10 lbs in the next 10 weeks... I know that's a TALL order but doable with proper preparation. 

Balance

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Wow! Life has been absolutely crazy. I took a week off, to work on my house. That was totally needed for my houses sake and for my mental sake. There is nothing like the satisfaction of breaking a sweat to make your own house into a home. I had a week of friends and family piling in to my little living too just to get instructions on what to do and how they could help. I'm so blessed!

I've also taken a slightly new approach with CrossFit. I've backed way down from the intensity at which I've spent the last 2 years working. I realized sometime during the Open this year that I wasn't competing against myself anymore and was making myself sick with anxiety over doing well. I've always loved the fun and challenge of CrossFit but it had become this other thing that taunted me that and would mess with my head by telling me I just wasn't good enough. That's bull! The reality is, I may not be a super star or he fittest person on the earth but that doesn't change my worth and I certainly shouldn't hang my identity on a wod. 

I've been going 3-4 days a week and just pacing myself. I truly am enjoying it. I guess you could say I'm treating my new strategy like a healing injury. I'm taking it slow, pushing myself hard but listening to my body.  Outside of cf I've been able to add in relationships I had neglected, get things done around the house and meet the extra demand work has taken recently. 

All in all I feel happy with where I'm at. Amazing friends and family, a great Coach, and a more balanced feel to my life. 

Before...

After!

Before...

After!

Old bronze before...

Sleak black after!!

After!

If you get lost...

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Have you ever felt like life gets away from you? Like somewhere along the way you got distracted and when you finally look up, you don't recognize anything? Well it happens to me every once in a while. When I was a kid my parents always said that if I got lost just to stay put and that would make me easier to find. So that's what I'm doing in my own adult way.
Life got hectic and busy and began to control me so I'm slowing down, stopping the craziness, sticking to what I enjoy and what makes me happy.

1. I'm overhauling my house. With all the craziness in the last year or so the upkeep has taken a back seat. But this is my home so I'm getting down and dirty fixing fences, painting walls, pulling weeds, planting flowers and fixing cracks. Im not spending crazy amounts of money but plenty if hard work and sweat equity will go into these projects. It's so rewarding to me to see this house become my home.

2. I'm also taking a break from my regular workout routine. Instead of pedal to the medal, intense, CrossFit workouts 6 days a week, I've been simply running. Me and my dog, wrestling with my own thoughts. It saves me 40 minutes of drive time everyday too! I feel a different sense of accomplishment because I choose get up to run and work out on my own. Ill go back to CrossFit one of these days. Most likely after I either lose momentum and need a little extra workout accountability or I become excellent at running and decide to add weight training back in. (Whichever comes first)
3. I've learned that while 90% paleo 100% of the time is ok. My recent 90% paleo 10% of the time is not ok! Ha ha DUH! 3 days into paleo and honestly I already feel better. The food tastes better because its fresh, natural and full of real flavors. I feel more satisfied, I stay full longer and I just feel healthier.
4. I've also been spending more time in the Word. While this has always been part of my daily grind, I've decided to take a deep breath, sit back and relax and enjoy it. I want to meditate on Him and His Word and allow Him to work in my life and be my peace of mind.

I guess sometimes when life seems out of control, you have to decide if your gonna allow all that "stuff" to define you and continue to drive you crazy. It's not always easy to turn the tide, slow down and focus on the things you enjoy. But it's worth it!

What one thing you can do to slow down and enjoy life?

Fresh starts

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Day 2 of running and 100% paleo.
While I've been consistently crossfiting for a year and a half now, my running ability has not improved very much... I hate running and I've never met another human who enjoys running with me. Basically because my running pace is equal to 90% of the populations walking pace.
But I want to change that for 2 reasons. #1 I've heard running can be therapeutic. I certainly hope that feeling starts soon bc right now it's 10 mins of pain!!! #2 I'm not great when it comes to the endurance part of any WOD. Give me a really heavy barbell and tell me to lift it a few times and I'm happy, give me a light barbell and tell me to lift it 21-15-9 times and i sputter out before coach yells to GO!
I know this is just a mental barrier. But I've gotta start somewhere and my hope is that working up to running 2 or 3 miles with a vest on will teach me stamina, endurance and pacing.
My goal is to be able to run 3 miles without a vest by may 15th. I'd like to be able to run 1 mile with a vest by then too.


Here's a pic of the shoes I'm running in. Can't wait till they make friends with my shins and calves. OUCH! Oh and my running buddy.

A baby step is still a step...

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Obviously Ive been MIA. And believe me if you gave me 5 minutes I could fill it with excuses. Most of them would be perfectly acceptable excuses too. But excuses never got anything done. After months of writing posts and not posting them bc of my own insecurities I've decided this blog is important to me in so many ways and I'm going to stop neglecting its therapeutic release.

So here I am ripping off the bandage and taking the first baby step back to writing. I'm coming back.

I want to find the joy in life and movement and exercising and living and share it with whoever cares to listen. While also sometimes confronting personal demons and failures that hold me down.
Weather it be 1 photo, a paragraph, a video, or a full on confession... Ready or not here I come!

What baby step can you take today?

Turn up the volume!

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What does 'turn up the volume' mean?

WORK HARDER!

Those 4 words, "Turn up the Volume" elicited strong feelings in me when  my coach Brian Yoak prescribed it in a casual conversation about my performance.  I had been asking how to move forward. How to be better/faster and I fully expected some  sort of directive like "do 20 ring dips and pull ups during each warm up for 30 days and wear a weight vest when you run." But no he simply said Turn up the Volume!

Here are the thoughts that ensued: 
The first was panic.  The second was determination. The third was fear. And finally reality.

Panic

I instantly wondered how I was going to do this. What would this mean.  How do I, mid WOD, turn it UP and WORK HARDER when my body is screaming to turn it DOWN! 
But that's just it, those decisions that are the ones that matter most. It's what separates the wheat from the chaff.  My mind very quickly turned to exciting, positive images I’ve seen of other athlete’s succeeding, working a harder, going further, pushing through and I started to get excited.

Determination

If those athletes could do it, so could I.  It’s just a matter of will power to go harder than I think I can go.  I’d eat better, warm up longer and WORK HARDER! It's mind over matter. And my mind is made up!

As I let my new determination settle in it lead me to another feeling not as pleasant.

Fear

Fear began to pick at my brain. What if I try to work harder and my results don’t reflect it. What if I’m mid WOD and I can’t do it? What if  I'm not as good as I want to be. What if I don't live up to my own standards.

Reality

Well, I’m here to say I’m going to JUST DO IT ANYWAY!

It’s all part of the process

No one said it would be easy but I KNOW it will be worth it…

 I cycle through this mental process often (especially right before Fran) but I think it's healthy and pushes me to over come panic, and fear and be a more confident athlete and person.

Auld Lang Syne

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Auld Lang Syne

2012 was an exciting year for Leah Mae and I.  Not only did we make it out alive we did it Crossfit style.
As I reflect over this past year I am overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and support from those around us. 
We are so excited to see where the blog takes us next year. We are looking forward to more give aways, guest blog posts, PR's and helpful hints to getting to the next level of health.

Here are some of Leah Renae's highlights:

• Started Paleo February 1 and lost 25 lbs
• Competed in the open and went on to compete in 3 more competitions.  
• Started this blog.When Leah Mae suggested co-authoring a blog I thought it would be the perfect addition to my journey. Little did I know it would become a needed outlet for myself and encouragement to those who read it.
• I turned 30!
• I got my Level 1 Crossfit Cert 
• PR's: 
• The kipping pullup, dead hang pull up, Chest to bar pull up, 5 butterfly pull ups in a row
• Girl push ups to boy push ups to RX Hand stand push up
• 55 uninterrupted double-unders
• 110 lb clean to 150 lb
• 205 dead lift to 225 lbs
• 80 lb snatch to 100 lb
• 145 lb clean and jerk
• 175 lb back squat 
• 160 Behind the neck split jerk

• I learned things about myself. I (LRS) have a hot streak in me and that competitiveness can show up without notice. 
• I also learned that Crossfit was meant to be fun. Stop taking the white board so seriously and LAUGH!

We hope you continue on your health journey with us this year as we set new goals and accomplish new things. 
Thanks again to all the support and love from family, friends and Crossfitters this year!
Check back to the blog and facebook page often as we will be giving away Crossfit gear, T-shirts, asking for your opinion, advice and help!

What was your biggest PR this year? Let us know in the comments below or on our Facebook page and we'll give one lucky winner a Free CrossFit Legacy t-shirt!

Opportunities

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Some opportunities come to us so often we don’t even think about them, like the opportunity to eat or live in a free country.  Then other times we have opportunities that we immediately know are the “once in a lifetime” kind and they ignite an excitement and determination in us like a new job opportunity or a marriage proposal.

I thrive on new opportunities. I’m an opportunity junkie, for the excitement, danger, emotion, and thrill of the unknown. I’m usually down for any new thing, but often in between you’ll find me bored or restless looking for the next new opportunity.

I feel blessed in my life with a great family, loving friends, supportive gym, and a great job.  At some point in my life each of those things were a new opportunities and opportunities I chose to take. Being born and then laughing, loving, forgiving and being forgiven by my siblings, getting to know a stranger and then letting them see my heart as they become my friend, walking into a gym overweight and out of shape but determined to change the course of my health and being offered the position as the Marketing Manager for Culligan and jumping in with both feet. 

  

I never want to forget or discount fulfilled opportunities. Instead I want to look forward to new ones, enjoy them as they come to fruition and treasure my life, my path and the experiences life has brought me.

What’s great is, over time, when the shiny newness of the experience wears off and each of those things becomes part of your life, that’s when the beauty of opportunity turns into the story of your life. I look forward to telling my grandchildren the stories of my life and the opportunities that I had the privilege of taking and experiencing in my life.  I fully intend to live until I die!

Frustrated

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Frustrated!

I jacked up my knee last Saturday and I can’t seem to get it to loosen up. My back totally froze up in a work out a couple days ago and I had to DNF. Yesterday I had to choose not to put more weight on the bar during a 3 rep max back squat for fear of further wrecking my knee or back or both… I have no engine. I feel like I’m going uphill on a skate board during every wod. Every second of the wod seems to take an hour. And during that one-hour-second I just want to quit. It feels like it takes every bit of energy just to convince myself to keep moving. And that has nothing to do with the knee or the back… it’s only my engine… my endurance, my strength…

Perhaps I’m doing exactly what I wrote about in my last post. But at the moment I don’t care. I’m frustrated with my performance…

I sound like a big baby right? Well here I go, I’m about to throw a temper tantrum…

I’ll start by saying I know people say “it’s showing up that counts” and that that I’m “probably going through some physical change” or maybe “it’s the weather”. I know that everyone goes through valleys or slow periods at one time or another. I’ll even go as far as to say maybe “it’s just mental”.  But after I get all the pep talk, cliché, psycho therapy babble out of the way, I’m still left with the real stuff that’s on my mind.

I’ve regressed or maybe I’ve just hit a plateau while those around me continue to progress. Either way, my neck is sore from watching each of them pass me by. I’m frustrated because my times have gotten slower. My AMRAP rounds are fewer.  I grit my teeth during the wod and hang my head after the wod just to keep from screaming or crying from frustration.

Everyone has been supportive. Everyone is encouraging. My pep talk jargon would say “Leah, you’re your biggest critic” bull! To me the white board is the biggest critic… It would say “Leah, you’re only competing against yourself” bull! At this point I’m ONLY competing against not DNFing. “Leah, at least you show up. At least you’re moving. At least you’re not quitting.” At least, at least, at least… I don’t want “at least” I want more.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to snap out of it. If it’s mental I don’t know how to improve my mind set. If it’s physical I don’t know what changed. 

I don’t know what to do.

Highlight Success and Attack Weakness

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I know firsthand the struggle we as women face when we decide to get healthy. The cravings, the fear of failure, the busy schedule, the extra time and effort required to turning your life around.

Do you see the beauty in the changes you have made?

I have found myself in more conversations recently, with women talking about their health journey. I listen to their story and I hear about their work out routines and diet changes and I am truly excited for them. But what resonates is often how hard they are on themselves despite these great changes. They have made life altering decisions and are taking all the right steps, but now more than ever, they feel like failures. They talk about how weak, ugly, fat and sometimes worthless they feel. It seems that by choosing to do things the right way, in their mind, it only shines a brighter spotlight on their wrong things they do, which in essence drowns out the beauty of the actual successful steps they have taken. 

Do you realize that no extraordinary journey is without a few pit stops and getting lost once in a while?  

It’s like despite the good things we do for ourselves we often mentally consume ourselves with our weaknesses more than our wins because anything less than perfect is devastating. We get embarrassed that we haven’t reached our goals yet. We get frustrated that we still have cravings, don’t feel like working out all the time and that the scale seems to only go down in .25 lb increments. I truly hurt for women when they tell me that they had a bite of their Grandmothers homemade pumpkin pie and now it’s ruined their whole day. Or when they just want to cry because they’ve only lost 1 pound in a 2 week period. It breaks my heart to see how hard they are working yet continually feel beaten down.  

I see beautiful women all around me. I see is the beauty they possess inside and out.  These women have given their lives to friends, family and church. They are blessed with love ones, friends, jobs, an education, a house, walking, talking, breathing, loving…. living. They wake up every day with a new resolution to do their best for themselves and those around them!  They sweat, and grunt at the gym and invest in healthy foods and activities for their families yet, one wrong move and they are up in arms at their lack of self control.

Leah Mae wrote a post a while back called “Put Good In” where she talked about how to change your diet and make it easy.  In her post she says “rather than taking the all of the unhealthy things out of your routine, put good things in.  The theory being that the reinforcement of good things, like a new sheriff, will run the bad things right out of town.”

I have started to make these changes in my own perspective. My goal is enjoy my wins. I want to show people what works for me and be excited about my journey every day.  I want to set new goals and keep pushing toward them. I want to change my paradigm and the paradigm of those around me that my successes needs to be talked about and highlighted but my failures deserve only to be attacked and changed. Letting our weaknesses mentally consume us only beats us down, but enjoying and sharing our successes propels us forward on to new successes.