Partner in Climb

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A few weekends ago I ventured into Baxter State Park, in central Maine, with 10 other adventurous souls with the intention of completing a feat for which I was grossly under-prepared: climb Mt. Katahdin.

For our friends from away, Mt. Katahdin is the highest mountain in Maine at 5,269 feet.  Our planned route was approximately 5 miles up and 5 miles back down, which for some hikers is nothing more than a walk in the park, but for this gal, it was going to be a long day.

The intermittent gusts of wind blew in sheets of clouds, making for some gorgeous views.

But despite the beauty, wind is not exactly what you want when you're clinging to the face of a glacial boulder. 

Like perhaps many Crossfitters, my pace goal for this climb was to simply not be last to the top.  The boys, on the other hand (including my sweet, sweet Jeff), launched a bit of a race to crown a winner. This hustle to the top left me, what felt at the time, alone and somewhat scared.

The wind made several attempts to knock me over.  I distrusted the foot holds and the upper body strength needed to hoist myself over each new rock (some bigger than my MINI Cooper).  I doubted myself. And then I cried a little.

When I finally caught back up with Jeff I was angry with him, that he'd left me to tackle the scary part by myself.  He simply responded that he knew I could do the scary part myself.  He saw the strength and bravery I needed, maybe even during the moments when I didn't.  I forgave him, of course, but not before I made him trade me the Twizzlers he had in his pack for the boring raisins I had in mine. :)

I tell this story because this morning I'm typing from the waiting area of Massachusetts General Hospital. Jeff is a donor match (for legal and privacy reasons I'm not sure exactly what I should divulge, but let's just say its more serious than blood...less serious than a kidney) for a patient he's never met. Today he saves a life. 


And while he admits to only a low-level of anxiety about the surgery and recovery, I can only imagine that he's feeling unsure and perhaps even scared. But I sit here, with complete faith and admiration of his strength. Many people, maybe most people, would not make such a sacrifice for a stranger. 


He inspires me every day to be better, to climb higher.


Want to know how you can save a life today too?  I encourage you all to consider donating blood.  It's not painful or scary. And you get a cookie. 
Find out where you can donate: http://www.redcrossblood.org/make-donation

Throw Like a Girl

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As a young girl, I very much remember staring with envy at my classmate's hair pinned up in curlers in preparation for dance recitals, or the growing collections of badges across pressed Girl Scouts' sashes.  I wanted so badly to be a part of these activities with other little girls. 

But growing up as a girly-girl was simply not in my parents' plan for me. Instead I played ball.  At age 5 or 6, I was the only girl in the league if I remember correctly.  And in all the years since my Title IX moment, I've only missed two summers of softball.  

While I may be a little older, and a little (okay, a lot) slower, the fundamental movements and competitive spirit of the game are just as fresh in my mind as they were even a decade ago.

It is because of this competitive spirit, that nothing - I repeat, nothing - makes me more irritated as when some guy waves in the outfielders when I (or any girl really) step up to the plate. Conversely, fewer things bring me more satisfaction as when I send the first pitch right over their heads and find myself easily settled on third base.


I am a girl. And I play ball like a girl....a girl that will slide, throw a laser, or tag your chauvinistic-ass out.  

Here's to all the girls out there that aren't afraid to get some dirt under their nails.

Who Gets the Box in a Breakup?

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Girl meets Boy. At CrossFit. Girl likes Boy's hang snatch form. Boy likes that Girl is also into bacon.  Girl and Boy live in bliss, bragging to their friends about how many pull-ups their new special someone can knock out. 

Source: http://pinterest.com/pin/73746512621248481/

But what happens when Girl and Boy are no longer held together by their shared hatred of burpees?  What happens when the cathartic, athletic outlet for frustration and anger experienced during a breakup becomes nothing more than a mainline to the source of the frustration?

In the process of dividing shared assets (you take the blender/I'll take the Lord of the Rings boxed set), does someone have to give up the box and find him or herself a new CrossFit family? 

I have my own opinion, but I'm interested to hear what you all have to say about it.  Let us know what you think! 

When Leah Met Leah

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It's an interesting and unconventional relationship that Leah Renae and I have. We started this project without knowing very much about each other. And now that we've put our names out into the world, we are connected. We have each had to trust that The Other Leah would handle our unique situation with care. 

And while it was never something that we were actively trying to arrange (in fact, it was part of our schtick that we'd never met), we found ourselves with an opportunity to connect face to face. 
So as a part of my (half)cross-country trip, I scheduled a stop in Akron.  Leah Renae and CrossFit Legacy were kind enough to have me. And James Schooling from Ultra Mega Photography was kind enough to capture the occasion for us.  

 Check out some of the photos from out workout.

Warming up - Leah Mae with a little kettlebell envy

Adding up reps.  CrossFit math is tricky.

I am so glad that we got the chance to meet and learn a bit more about each other.  Beyond some of our shared interests, Leah Renae and I are similar in a lot of ways, despite our very different backgrounds.  The most apparent, to me anyway, is that we are both independent spirits who value the things we are able to accomplish on our own.

If there is one way in which we can set an example for other women, I hope it is in this way. 

Balance

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Wow! Life has been absolutely crazy. I took a week off, to work on my house. That was totally needed for my houses sake and for my mental sake. There is nothing like the satisfaction of breaking a sweat to make your own house into a home. I had a week of friends and family piling in to my little living too just to get instructions on what to do and how they could help. I'm so blessed!

I've also taken a slightly new approach with CrossFit. I've backed way down from the intensity at which I've spent the last 2 years working. I realized sometime during the Open this year that I wasn't competing against myself anymore and was making myself sick with anxiety over doing well. I've always loved the fun and challenge of CrossFit but it had become this other thing that taunted me that and would mess with my head by telling me I just wasn't good enough. That's bull! The reality is, I may not be a super star or he fittest person on the earth but that doesn't change my worth and I certainly shouldn't hang my identity on a wod. 

I've been going 3-4 days a week and just pacing myself. I truly am enjoying it. I guess you could say I'm treating my new strategy like a healing injury. I'm taking it slow, pushing myself hard but listening to my body.  Outside of cf I've been able to add in relationships I had neglected, get things done around the house and meet the extra demand work has taken recently. 

All in all I feel happy with where I'm at. Amazing friends and family, a great Coach, and a more balanced feel to my life. 

Before...

After!

Before...

After!

Old bronze before...

Sleak black after!!

After!

Honor Thy Mother

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I write occasionally about the ways in which my father influenced my independence, my decision making skills, and other traits that are very much woven into the fabric of my personality. But it is not often that I write about the ways in which my mom has shaped me as well. And today perhaps I should.

My mom, Pam, is a lead-by-example parent. She feels strongly about her own beliefs but never judges or puts down those with differing viewpoints. She accepts everyone as equals. Her approach is subtle; she's a great listener and always supports my plans to save the world, no matter how wacky!  

As I've grown older, I've been able to more clearly identify some specific things that make me truly appreciate the kind of parent she was to me. Some women are defined by motherhood in an absolute way. The kids' hobbies become her only hobbies, and homework/art projects/science fair submissions are mission critical and appear on each day's to-do list. Thankfully for me, this does not describe my mom.

While a loving and committed mother, she was very much her own person with her own hobbies. Front and center of those hobbies is, and always will be, tennis. She has been very active in the tennis community since before I was born and still plays at a very competitive (national) level, no doubt frustrating scores of players twice her size and half her age.  

She has instilled in me the notion that you're never too good to practice.  And that progress isn't necessarily about your win-rate, but about the self-improvement you've made through hard work and dedication. Despite more than a handful of trips to recreational tennis' greatest stage, she remains passionate about her athletic journey.

The last ten years have thrown a few major curve balls at us. It maybe would have been easy for her to settle into a dreary pocket of self-pity, with sadness for things lost.  Instead she has paved a new path for herself. A path that has led to experiences well outside her comfort zone (ahem, salsa dancing) and, I think, widened the way she sees the world.  

She has shown me, and everyone around her, what it means to venture into the unknown with grace.  That you don't need to know what lies around every corner, just to know that you're strong enough to face it. Whatever it is. 

So when I talk about my mom, it is always with pride and genuine appreciation for the things she's taught me.  I am grateful to have a truly positive role model in my life.

And what should every girl get to do once with her role model?  ROAD TRIP!!

My mom and I are leaving in a couple of weeks on a 2,200-mile adventure. I'm so excited to get to share this experience together. I'll be posting some pics to d&d, so be on the lookout. On the lookout literally and figuratively please....if you see us stranded on the side of the road, call AAA.  

Happy Mother's Day!

Run Love

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The past week was extremely difficult and emotional for most of us.  As athletes, as parents and children, as people of faith, and as humans, it's hard to imagine and to understand a purposeful and hateful motivation to harm others.  It goes against the very core of us and of the fundamental way in which most of us, hopefully all of us, live our lives.

Tuesday morning on my way to work, I couldn't help but hear a verse in a song I'd heard a thousand times, in a completely different way -- We're one/But we're not the same/We get to carry each other/Carry each other. U2 released "One" as a benefit single, with the proceeds going to AIDS research and it inspired this week's photo project. 
 
Leah Renae and I, like presumably thousands of others, ran a tribute mile in silence. It was our way to honor those injured in Boston, their families, and the communities that spent the rest of the week frightened and confused.  

The painful images that erupted (or in a few unfortunate cases, leaked) out of Boston will stay with many of us for some time, but there were also images of bravery, compassion, solidarity, and love that poured out of every city in this nation and beyond. We were reminded that while we are all, indeed different, we are also in this together. 

Communities of friends and strangers gathered for their own tribute runs, and we wanted to showcase those images.  This is our small contribution with the purpose to remind ourselves and each other that if all we take away from this week are the tragic images, then these hurtful monsters have won.  

Let us remember, this week and always, to carry each other. 

http://bit.ly/13pCCwb

Photos were submitted by you, our friends, and by fellow runners on Instagram.  Please click the image to launch the mosaic. We hope you enjoy the collection. 

 

If you get lost...

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Have you ever felt like life gets away from you? Like somewhere along the way you got distracted and when you finally look up, you don't recognize anything? Well it happens to me every once in a while. When I was a kid my parents always said that if I got lost just to stay put and that would make me easier to find. So that's what I'm doing in my own adult way.
Life got hectic and busy and began to control me so I'm slowing down, stopping the craziness, sticking to what I enjoy and what makes me happy.

1. I'm overhauling my house. With all the craziness in the last year or so the upkeep has taken a back seat. But this is my home so I'm getting down and dirty fixing fences, painting walls, pulling weeds, planting flowers and fixing cracks. Im not spending crazy amounts of money but plenty if hard work and sweat equity will go into these projects. It's so rewarding to me to see this house become my home.

2. I'm also taking a break from my regular workout routine. Instead of pedal to the medal, intense, CrossFit workouts 6 days a week, I've been simply running. Me and my dog, wrestling with my own thoughts. It saves me 40 minutes of drive time everyday too! I feel a different sense of accomplishment because I choose get up to run and work out on my own. Ill go back to CrossFit one of these days. Most likely after I either lose momentum and need a little extra workout accountability or I become excellent at running and decide to add weight training back in. (Whichever comes first)
3. I've learned that while 90% paleo 100% of the time is ok. My recent 90% paleo 10% of the time is not ok! Ha ha DUH! 3 days into paleo and honestly I already feel better. The food tastes better because its fresh, natural and full of real flavors. I feel more satisfied, I stay full longer and I just feel healthier.
4. I've also been spending more time in the Word. While this has always been part of my daily grind, I've decided to take a deep breath, sit back and relax and enjoy it. I want to meditate on Him and His Word and allow Him to work in my life and be my peace of mind.

I guess sometimes when life seems out of control, you have to decide if your gonna allow all that "stuff" to define you and continue to drive you crazy. It's not always easy to turn the tide, slow down and focus on the things you enjoy. But it's worth it!

What one thing you can do to slow down and enjoy life?

Fresh starts

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Day 2 of running and 100% paleo.
While I've been consistently crossfiting for a year and a half now, my running ability has not improved very much... I hate running and I've never met another human who enjoys running with me. Basically because my running pace is equal to 90% of the populations walking pace.
But I want to change that for 2 reasons. #1 I've heard running can be therapeutic. I certainly hope that feeling starts soon bc right now it's 10 mins of pain!!! #2 I'm not great when it comes to the endurance part of any WOD. Give me a really heavy barbell and tell me to lift it a few times and I'm happy, give me a light barbell and tell me to lift it 21-15-9 times and i sputter out before coach yells to GO!
I know this is just a mental barrier. But I've gotta start somewhere and my hope is that working up to running 2 or 3 miles with a vest on will teach me stamina, endurance and pacing.
My goal is to be able to run 3 miles without a vest by may 15th. I'd like to be able to run 1 mile with a vest by then too.


Here's a pic of the shoes I'm running in. Can't wait till they make friends with my shins and calves. OUCH! Oh and my running buddy.

A baby step is still a step...

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Obviously Ive been MIA. And believe me if you gave me 5 minutes I could fill it with excuses. Most of them would be perfectly acceptable excuses too. But excuses never got anything done. After months of writing posts and not posting them bc of my own insecurities I've decided this blog is important to me in so many ways and I'm going to stop neglecting its therapeutic release.

So here I am ripping off the bandage and taking the first baby step back to writing. I'm coming back.

I want to find the joy in life and movement and exercising and living and share it with whoever cares to listen. While also sometimes confronting personal demons and failures that hold me down.
Weather it be 1 photo, a paragraph, a video, or a full on confession... Ready or not here I come!

What baby step can you take today?

Change Haters

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There are two kinds of people I think. The people that hate change, and everyone else. 


I can see how and why it could make a person uncomfortable. We get used to our routines, find comfort in them even. And to lose the familiarity of the people and places we see everyday, of knowing what's coming next, is unsettling.

This is not the case for me. I don't mind change. You might say that I crave it. I've been called a quitter and a runner at more than one crossroad in my life. I've learned to see my choices, not as running away from something, but rather running toward something else. Toward something new from which I will surely procure a priceless little nugget of knowledge about myself or the world around me.  

All kinds of things need change in order to survive; car tires, molting reptiles, judges on American Idol. It's almost always worth the effort to adapt. Don't box yourself into a comfortable and predictable life. Don't be a change hater. 

Is Your Work Space Working Against You?

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I am now five weeks into twice-weekly physical therapy for a shoulder impingement. Since I was active in CrossFit, tennis, softball, and yoga, I assumed that either a sudden or gradual shoulder injury could have happened due to any one, or any combination, of these activities.What I was not expecting, was to learn that my injury was, at minimum, a partial result of my work station.  

Like an increasing number of desk-sentenced folks I have a multi-monitor set-up. As you can see, I also often have one or more documents directly in front of me with a sliding keyboard tray and mouse rest.  Since I use two monitors, this small mouse rest is typically not big enough for me to scroll from the left monitor to the right in one motion, and putting down the mouse mid-sweep is very inefficient.  This caused me to keep the mouse directly on the desk.  However, then I was reaching the full distance across the keyboard to use it.

 One of the first things my physical therapist asked me to do was to have someone photograph me sitting at my desk. He could tell immediately my work space posture was part of my problem and why my recovery, despite taking several weeks off of activity, was not progressing.

  

Notice the space between me and the back of the chair, and that my arms/elbows are unsupported. This hunched position was forcing my shoulders forward and creating further impingement. I have since made some adjustments as part of my rehab plan and have generally become more cognizant of my posture and the way I move/use my body during the day.

   

Let's review some tips about workplace posture:  

OSHA recommends the following:

• Hands, wrists, and forearms are straight, in-line and roughly parallel to the floor
• Shoulders are relaxed and upper arms hang normally to the side of the body 
• Elbows stay in close and are bent between 90 and 120 degrees (like a Dinosaur!) 
• Feet are supported by the floor or a footrest
• Back is fully supported when sitting vertical or leaning back slightly
• Seat and hips are fully supported by a well-padded seat and are generally parallel to the floor
• Knees are about the same height as hips  

This means no sitting on one leg, or sitting cross-legged in your chair. Avoid slouching or leaning to one armrest. If you are bound to a chair all day, be sure to get up and stretch or walk around on a regular basis.
 
The jury seems to still be out on using an exercise ball in lieu of a chair. I'm in no way an expert on the subject but it seems that what you gain in core activation you lose in back support. I know that I always seem to have a difficult time keeping good posture when there is no back support....think bar stool...however perhaps that's due to another reason entirely :) 

I encourage you all to take a minute today, or next week if you're already home and hunkered down for the blizzard, to really think about your work space and if it's working with or against your health and fitness goals. Benefits of perfect form at the gym can easily be undone by poor form at work. 

Turn up the volume!

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What does 'turn up the volume' mean?

WORK HARDER!

Those 4 words, "Turn up the Volume" elicited strong feelings in me when  my coach Brian Yoak prescribed it in a casual conversation about my performance.  I had been asking how to move forward. How to be better/faster and I fully expected some  sort of directive like "do 20 ring dips and pull ups during each warm up for 30 days and wear a weight vest when you run." But no he simply said Turn up the Volume!

Here are the thoughts that ensued: 
The first was panic.  The second was determination. The third was fear. And finally reality.

Panic

I instantly wondered how I was going to do this. What would this mean.  How do I, mid WOD, turn it UP and WORK HARDER when my body is screaming to turn it DOWN! 
But that's just it, those decisions that are the ones that matter most. It's what separates the wheat from the chaff.  My mind very quickly turned to exciting, positive images I’ve seen of other athlete’s succeeding, working a harder, going further, pushing through and I started to get excited.

Determination

If those athletes could do it, so could I.  It’s just a matter of will power to go harder than I think I can go.  I’d eat better, warm up longer and WORK HARDER! It's mind over matter. And my mind is made up!

As I let my new determination settle in it lead me to another feeling not as pleasant.

Fear

Fear began to pick at my brain. What if I try to work harder and my results don’t reflect it. What if I’m mid WOD and I can’t do it? What if  I'm not as good as I want to be. What if I don't live up to my own standards.

Reality

Well, I’m here to say I’m going to JUST DO IT ANYWAY!

It’s all part of the process

No one said it would be easy but I KNOW it will be worth it…

 I cycle through this mental process often (especially right before Fran) but I think it's healthy and pushes me to over come panic, and fear and be a more confident athlete and person.

Atmospheric Re-entry

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You know that feeling just before you go on your first new date after a break-up? Or to your first job interview after years with the same company? Or your high school reunion? Curiosity meets self-doubt meets "OMG I might hurl!"

I got that feeling today as I drove to my first CrossFit workout in over 12 weeks. I was anxious and excited, but lacking some the confidence that months on the injured list had stripped from me. Tendinitis in my right shoulder from an impingement (seriously, how many impingements can one person have??)  topped with a side of a workload that just won't lighten up has left me out of the game, and the gym, in a BIG way.

A flurry of new and familiar faces reminded me the world did not, in fact, stop turning in my absence. (Always a shocking and sad moment for an only child). I was pleased that our small class of six ladies--a harem any coach would love--would be the perfect way to ease myself back into this world, back into this very important slice of my life that I love and missed.

Just like riding a bike, you ask?  Well, after the equivalent of  193 squats (via slam balls, air squats, and back squats) sure, I suppose it's like riding a bike.  Riding a bike for 250 miles.

But I'm positive I'll wake up wanting to do it all over again. If I can move, that is.