Turn up the volume!

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What does 'turn up the volume' mean?

WORK HARDER!

Those 4 words, "Turn up the Volume" elicited strong feelings in me when  my coach Brian Yoak prescribed it in a casual conversation about my performance.  I had been asking how to move forward. How to be better/faster and I fully expected some  sort of directive like "do 20 ring dips and pull ups during each warm up for 30 days and wear a weight vest when you run." But no he simply said Turn up the Volume!

Here are the thoughts that ensued: 
The first was panic.  The second was determination. The third was fear. And finally reality.

Panic

I instantly wondered how I was going to do this. What would this mean.  How do I, mid WOD, turn it UP and WORK HARDER when my body is screaming to turn it DOWN! 
But that's just it, those decisions that are the ones that matter most. It's what separates the wheat from the chaff.  My mind very quickly turned to exciting, positive images I’ve seen of other athlete’s succeeding, working a harder, going further, pushing through and I started to get excited.

Determination

If those athletes could do it, so could I.  It’s just a matter of will power to go harder than I think I can go.  I’d eat better, warm up longer and WORK HARDER! It's mind over matter. And my mind is made up!

As I let my new determination settle in it lead me to another feeling not as pleasant.

Fear

Fear began to pick at my brain. What if I try to work harder and my results don’t reflect it. What if I’m mid WOD and I can’t do it? What if  I'm not as good as I want to be. What if I don't live up to my own standards.

Reality

Well, I’m here to say I’m going to JUST DO IT ANYWAY!

It’s all part of the process

No one said it would be easy but I KNOW it will be worth it…

 I cycle through this mental process often (especially right before Fran) but I think it's healthy and pushes me to over come panic, and fear and be a more confident athlete and person.

Atmospheric Re-entry

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You know that feeling just before you go on your first new date after a break-up? Or to your first job interview after years with the same company? Or your high school reunion? Curiosity meets self-doubt meets "OMG I might hurl!"

I got that feeling today as I drove to my first CrossFit workout in over 12 weeks. I was anxious and excited, but lacking some the confidence that months on the injured list had stripped from me. Tendinitis in my right shoulder from an impingement (seriously, how many impingements can one person have??)  topped with a side of a workload that just won't lighten up has left me out of the game, and the gym, in a BIG way.

A flurry of new and familiar faces reminded me the world did not, in fact, stop turning in my absence. (Always a shocking and sad moment for an only child). I was pleased that our small class of six ladies--a harem any coach would love--would be the perfect way to ease myself back into this world, back into this very important slice of my life that I love and missed.

Just like riding a bike, you ask?  Well, after the equivalent of  193 squats (via slam balls, air squats, and back squats) sure, I suppose it's like riding a bike.  Riding a bike for 250 miles.

But I'm positive I'll wake up wanting to do it all over again. If I can move, that is.